- Earth, Mediterranean Region, 19 A.D.
The little boy was tempermental, uncontrollable, and rash, thought the servant. It was hard to believe he could grow to become one of the Empire's leaders. How often the child would run about waving a toy sword, stomping about in his riding boots, ordering ridiculous commands at her and the others. And they once believed that he was a fine young man, a boy destined for greatness and leadership. But that was before the appearance of the so-called demigod, "Barnichus". After his arrival, the youth took on a more sinister, unbridled behaviour that the servant feared would cause great hardship for the people.
She quietly peered into the next room, to observe the boy playing with Barnichus, a fat, squalid, and purple beast loosely wrapped in a green toga. Since his mysterious arrival at the palace, the future emperor and the chubby monster had played for hours on end, singing mindless little tunes and performing perverted little dances. It was surely this creature, this demon-god, that had warped a promising youth into a future madman. It would weigh heavily upon Rome when this child took the throne.
"Dulcinus," whispered a fellow servant, "we must prepare for tonight's banquet at the throne room. The boy will be all right."
"I wish that were true, Nera," she replied. "but I have great fear for the empire. Ever since that Purple Beast arrived with his little green companion, I fear our precious Caligula has been corrupted."
- Southwestern Europe, late thirteenth century
The little boy was lonely, he watched the sailors unloading the boats from the distant countries. Various spices and metals were taken from the bellys of the great ships, and the child wondered if he would grow up to become a great sea-traveler. His thoughts were disoriented when a small, fuzzy rat came scampering down the rampway towards him.
His father told him to kill any rat, since they ate precious grain and ruined various cargo with their foul droppings. The boy kept his eye on the rodent and grabbed a heavy stone off the ground. He raised it high above his head and-
"Now hold on there, little boy. Don't you know it's not nice to hurt small animals?"
The boy turned around, and saw an immense, grinning purple beast. Alongside stood a smaller, green dinosaur with thick lashes and pink dots.
"Who are you?" asked the child, lowering the stone.
"Our names aren't too important right now," giggled the dinosaur, "what is important is that you learn that all animals are special and can even make great pets!"
Suddenly the two creatures began singing a little tune about the love and affection a housepet can give, all the while dancing gleefully about the dock. The little boy looked on, entranced.
When they had finished, the little boy said, "I believe you two are right. I'm not going to kill this poor little rat. In fact, I'm going to sneak him into my house and feed him grain and milk!"
"Why that's wonderful!" bellowed the fat purple beast. "And as it gets older, it'll share love and affection for you, though not as much as I have for you. Let me sing another song for you, my little friend."
The boy listened on in rapt attention as the two dinosaurs sang:
I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, Just collect more rats and give them a home, you'll find a love you've never known . . . .
"I just loooovvveee little pets!" bubbled the smaller, green dinosaur, cradling her blanket. With that, she and the purple dinosaur leant down and hugged the little boy. They fondly waved good-bye and quickly disappeared behind the huge stacks of cargo.
The little boy picked up the rat, and several others on his way home. His heart was filled with joy and happiness, he hoped he would see the fat purple creature (was it a dragon, maybe?) again. When the boy got home, he crept to his room and let the rats loose upon his bedding. He immediately got bread and milk to feed them, and soon the small pack was gurgling happily, their scaly tails draped lazily over the boy's thigh. A moment later, the boy felt an itch. Did these rats have fleas? Or lice?
The Black Plague swept through Europe like wildfire that season. Hordes of scaly rodents feasted upon the diseased corpses and countless millions died within a short period. It would become one of the greatest disasters in recorded history.
- Northern Europe, early 20th century
The corporal scrambled madly through the trenches, the Allied troops were closing in on his position. He had no weapon with which to defend himself, and most others from his regiment had already successfully retreated from the charge that threatened the entire encampment. Biplanes bearing the Allied insignia flew overhead, doing battle with triplanes emblazoned with the iron Cross. All signs showing that World War I was coming to a gradual end.
The corporal looked behind him. In the distance he could see dozens of olive-clad British soldiers filing through the trench. It was likely that he would be caught, possibly killed. Many Allies had a certain deal of resentment to unleash upon the Germans.
Suddenly, the corporal was lifted off his feet and yanked behind a collapsed munnitions shed. He turned around and to his surprise saw a huge, stocky purple dinsosaur smiling at him.
"Now just be quiet," whispered the blubbery beast, who was clad in a grey trench jacket and spiked helmet. "Follow me and I'll get you back to your regiment."
The astonished corporal nodded and followed the huge purple reptile. The two of them wandered through acres of barbed wire and foxholes, until they could hear the distinct rumblings of trucks and tanks in orderly retreat.
"There you go, friend!" said the dinosaur. "Here are your friends, pulling back to Germany. It's too bad that you have to be on the losing side."
"Maybe for now," grumbled the corporal. "But maybe one day I'll make the orders. My country is in ruins, but I'll bring it back on its feet and make those guilty pay for our suffering. We won't be beaten for very long."
"Well that's a wonderful attitude!" reeled the purple creature, exposing his clean, wide teeth. "You certainly are a good sttuuupenndousss sport! I wish you luck, and want you to know I love you." And with that, the purple beast hugged the corporal, who looked a bit uncomfortable with the gesture.
"By the way, who are you and why did you save me?" the moustached man asked.
"Private Barney at your command, sir!" chirped the dinosaur, snapping to attention and saluting. "I saved you because you are my special friend!"
"Thank you, Herr Barney," replied the corporal. "My name is Adolf Schicklgruber. But I have grown wary of that name. You may address me as Adolf Hitler. And soon I will make my mark upon the world, I promise."
- North-centralized Europe, early twentieth century
The little girl had known of the war for quite some time, sometimes she heard the distant buzz of bombers high overhead or saw the occasional flare in the distance. She was part of a big secret though, that she kept to herself and within the family. Well, actually there was someone else.
She had spent so many months in the upper attic, sheltered from the rest of the world and fleeing oppression. Yet it was a lonely existence, which is why she was so happy to have a magical visitor come to her recently. He was big, fat, purple, and always so cheerful, and the two spent many hours singing and dancing. But not too loudly, as they might be discovered. Occasionally he would bring his green companion, who talked like a three-year old and had a high, squeaky voice. Who ever they were, she was glad they were there to keep her company.
Just that night her fat dinosaur friend, Barney, had talked to her about secrets. Why was her existence so hidden from the rest of the world? She couldn't really tell him, only that this way she and her family were safe. He laughed and said friends never keep secrets from each other, especially when they really, really, really loved one another. Finally, she gave in and told him who she was, what their family was doing stored up in an attic, and what her hopes and desires were. He hugged her and thanked her for being so honest and open, and for the moment, she felt good too. But then he left shortly afterwards and hadn't been back since. That was just last night.
Suddenly, there came a pounding at the door. She was alarmed. Was it her purple friend? He had never approached from the attic entrance before. What was it and why were her parents so terrified?
The door was suddenly kicked in, and a squad of black-uniformed men came in. Sirens rang from outside. The man in front, brandishing a 9mm Luger and swastika said, "If it wasn't for our informant, we'd never have caught you miserable bunch!" He laughed cruelly at the little girl and dragged her downstairs.
Anne Frank and her family were separated and shipped away from their native Holland. Anne was never seen again.
- North American continent, later twentieth century
Kids nation-wide flocked to the TV screens and watched the premiere of a whole new PBS show, "Barney and Friends". The show peaked in ratings and millions poured in as children watched the antics of a fat, purple dinosaur named Barney and his squeaky, child-like green companion Baby Bop.
Years later, Barney performs a live concert broadcast from Washington D.C.. During the show, he incites children everywhere to riot and kill any person over the age of twelve. In the resulting holocaust, children become his unwitting servants and Barney reigns supreme from the former White House. Baby Bop is put in charge of overseeing the Purple One's secret nurseries, which breed deplorable mutant creatures known as the Loved Ones.
After several years of absolute rule and dominion, Barney and Baby Bop are killed by Jeremy Phillips and his sister, Fran. Both were respectively marked for execution and impregnation, following their thirteenth birthdays. Jeremy escaped his execution, rescued Fran, destroyed the nursery, and shot and killed Baby Bop. Fran killed Barney while saving her brother from his murderous talons. After the incidents, children and surviving adults reunite to refound civilization, completely free of the Great Purple Beast and his minions.
Or so they thought.