"What do you mean he escaped?!" bellowed Barney, his eyes focusing on the frantic and uneasy Loved One. The pudgy, balloon-faced creature shifted back and forth on its elephantine feet and chittered out excuses and apologies. In his rage, Barney lifted the creature off of his feet and flung him down the chamber shaft. The pathetic creature shrieked as it plummeted into the horrid darkness. Its fellow Loved Ones backed away in fear from the enraged Beast of Purple.

"Stupid, stupid, servant!" stammered Baby Bop, who pounded her feet against the cave floor. "Fall forever, down big, big, scary hole! Same thing for all of you others, if you lose Jeremy! Fall forever!"

Thorton Marshall came into the room, pushed along in a wheelchair by two Loved Ones. His bandages were filthy and speckled with blood the man had coughed up on himself following his "surgery". He gingerly cradled a Barney doll in his lap. "Barney and Baby Bop," he began, "we're ready for recording if you are."

"Why that's wonderful!" chimed Barney, completely changing his demeanor. "I can't wait to get my show back on again! Are the musicians, children, and technician ready to go, Thorton?"

"Yes, Barney, they are," wheezed the chair-bound fanatic. "And every available Loved One is out searching the tunnels for Jeremy Phillips. Trust me, Barney, he won't leave this cavern without his children and sister."

"OOoooohhh, I just love making television shows!" squeaked Baby Bop, wrapping her favorite blanket around her shoulders. "Let's go everyone, time to play!"

"I didn't think I'd see you again," said Jeremy, washing his face before an old cracked mirror.

"My respect for you is very strong," replied Maca'hzar, reclining against a pile of velvet cushions. "I see the Purple One suspended you above the Dimensional Chamber, a gateway to many planes of existence. It was my design and invention, though he likes to take credit for it. What he doesn't know about is the secret passageway and den I installed during its original construction. Allows me to see and hear many things." The silver-haired Loved One ran his claws over the jewel-encrusted edge of his staff. "The second dawning of Barney is almost underway."

"He's got my kids, my sister, and is ready to make television shows again," muttered Jeremy. "But I've no weapons and very little idea on how to take him on."

"The mother shall break the cradle," said Maca'hzar. He lit another candle.

"God that's ambiguous", Jeremy grumbled, drying his face and sitting across the scaly creature. "Can't you give me something more tangible, more concrete to work with rather than this mediocre Dungeons and Dragons lingo? What's your impression of the message?"

Maca'hzar whistfully shut his eyes and sat in silence for a few moments. When he opened his eyes again, they blazed with a mysterious fire and he spoke as if from the bottom of a deep, hollow well.

"All creatures great and small, Jeremy Phillips, share one thing. Despite one's strength or power, all must lower themselves before the dawn of their existence. What we hold dominion over cannot precede us. Rather, we are vulnerable to the era that came before our destiny.

"A child subverts to the will of his parents. A masterpiece of art is nothing when reduced to the mere canvas. Every dawn is but a pale afterglow of the night before it. Salmon fight to find the grounds they were born in, and either die or die trying. A tree, when reduced to the merest sapling-"

"Whoa, whoa whoa," interupted Jeremy. "Please, Maca'hzar, you're losing me here. I didn't want talks on fish, art, kids, whatever. What does this all have to do with destroying Barney?"

"Is it still with you?" asked Maca'hzar. "The fragment I gave you back in your dwelling."

Jeremy fumbled through his pockets, he produced the flat, textured shard from his shirt. "Yeah, it's here."

"Good, you will be adequately prepared. When the time comes, all will be known to you. I wish I could help you Jeremy Phillips, but the Great Beast of Purple is of my own flesh and blood. My power will not be of much use against him. It is upon you, the Great Liberator, to destroy his second incarnation and save your world again."

"My Loved Ones have not been able to find Jeremy," bubbled Barney, "but as I remember Thorton, you are quite handy with some of this equipment. Show me what you've done!"

Thorton idly wheeled himself over to a monitor and keyboard. He paused to take a deep, hoarse breath, then began punching keys as fast as his shattered hands could muster. "Just like the effect we did with the kids getting their heads bitten off," he began," we've taken a superimposed image and manipulated it to simulate movement. In a sense, enriched animation. We got a video clip of Jeremy head on. With some voice enhancement, we can make this computer simulation say and do anything we want. Do you have your statement handy?"

"I absolutely do!" beamed the purple dinosaur. "Punch that in and let's see the magic!" Thorton punched in the text and hit the return button. The computer monitor flickered and whirred for a few seconds. Then, a computer simulated image of Jeremy Phillips blipped onto the screen, looking incredibly life-like. Thorton hit another series of keys and the computer-Jeremy began talking . . . .

Hi, my name is Jeremy Phillips, and I welcome everyone out there in television land to watch "Barney and Friends", coming back after twenty stuuuppppennnddouuusss years! I now realize it was wrong to destroy Barney's reputation, and Baby Bop's too, but now that I'm older and more responsible, let me be the first to say that Barney is my very special friend and I hope you all watch his show, tomorrow night at 9:00 pm. Barney's back from the dead and he looovvveesssss you!

"That's wonderful!" chirped Barney, jumping up and down in glee, "Thorton, broadcast that clip every half hour on every major network. I just can't wait!" The purple lizard's ecstatic giggling and dancing filled the studio. The bloated creature sagged downstairs to share the news with Baby Bop.

Thorton finished the rough editing and prompted the relay stations back on the earth's surface. Towers across the globe hummed and flickered as the signals began pouring in. Antennas across the country's homesteads hissed and spat static as the video blips surged into television sets.

Bill had just sat down with a cold beer and TV dinner, and eagerly switched on the tube to catch the closing moments of the Chicago Cubs and the Minnesota Twins. With the score tied and the bases loaded, the batter lobbed a high ball into center field, the field man raced desperately to catch the ball plummeting to the earth, the crowd held its breath as the ball and the fielder's mitt raced against each other and then . . . .

Hi, my name is Jeremy Phillips and I welcome everyone out there in television land to watch "Barney and Friends" . . . .

Bill about choked on his beer. He coughed up foam and it speckled against the fuzzy surface of the television screen. "What the hell-?"

. . . Barney's back from the dead and he loooovvvveesss you!

"Damn, that was Jeremy," muttered Bill, wiping off the excess foam. He called the central studio in the downtown area. "Hello Susan, this is Bill. You just saw it too? Good. I've an idea they're gonna be broadcasting this ballyhoo a lot in the next day, get Mace and his crew to track down that signal. Pronto!"

"You aren't going with me?" asked Jeremy uncomfortably.

"I've done all I can for this battle," said Maca'hzar, opening the portal entrance. "Jeremy Phillips, you are strong and of pure soul, I remind you to keep on your guard and remember all that we've talked about. If it is meant to be, you will triumph over the Great Beast of Purple once more."

"Maca'hzar, you know, I don't know why, but normally I would be drawn to kill a creature such as you. But you're not a typical Loved One. I don't feel any inner desire to destroy you . . . ."

The creatures eyes squinted, and he smiled a thin, tapering smile. "As it should be. Here, I've one more thing to give you. " Maca'hzar unfastened a tarnished, slightly rusty firearm from behind his shoulder. He unstrapped a few clips from his belt and handed it to Jeremy. "Magic is magic," he said, "but there's something to be said for technology. You will need this time to time, Jeremy Phillips." He turned and went back into the tunnel.

Jeremy watched the dwarfish figure disappear, speechless. The next instant he slammed a clip into the main chamber of the gun. He scurried down the hall and towards the main cavern.

"Three, two, one!" called Thorton, adjusting the camera field. The Loved One ensemble immediately began playing a rollicking, clumsy melody and a chorus of children's voices could be heard:

Barney is a dinosaur, come back to be your good friend, and if you love him as much as I you'll want to make it happen!

Barney loves us very much, Barney loves us always! Let him in your empty heart and enjoy lots of fun days!

"Ugh, that's some horrible stuff," groaned Fran, strapped into the chair next to Thorton.

Thorton snorted under his bandages. "Shuttup, miserable wench! He's a genius, and he's gonna make the world a happy place once more!" He got so worked up he started coughing and wheezing, hacking thin spackles of blood upon the control panel. Fran observed some of the exposed areas of his body, and saw some where turning a spongy green.

Gangrene.

Five hours later, the cast and crew decided to take a break. Barney and Baby Bop were especially jubilant. They had already taped the performance segments of the show, now all that was left was the live segments. The broadcast would begin in just a matter of minutes. The two creatures hobbled about the set merrily, dancing with Stacy and Mark, and giggling uncontrollably. As the band of prancing children and dinosaurs romped about the stage, they did not notice the human figure up above them in the lighting rails.

Jeremy peered down at the small ensemble, and readied his gun. He had to stop the broadcast and do so without harming his kids. A few feet back dangled a Loved One technician, whom Jeremy had strangled with some leftover electrical chord. Its eyes bulged out of its sockets, the pasty orange tongue hanging down upon its plump, blubbery chin. Jeremy eyed the creature with disgust, Maca'hzar was a much dignified creature than the majority of Loved Ones he'd encountered. Not fat or blubbery, but sinewy and covered in broad, jagged scales. In some ways like a miniature dinosaur . . . .

"There it is again!" yelled Bill, pointing to the screen. "Whoever's broadcasting this junk is doing it every half hour on the hour! Mace, you any closer to locking onto that signal?"

"One more transmission should do it," said the haggardly man, scratching his head. "It's definitely within a twenty-mile radius, and below the ground. Must be a hell of a transmitter."

Bill checked his watch and counted down for the next half hour. The time just rolled by and by . . . .

Jeremy heard laughter and chuckling below him. Barney, Baby Bop, and his two children, Stacy and Mark, had just finished another song and were making the final adjustements to the set and props. Loved One technicians scampered about the studio, preparing for the live broadcast, which would begin in a matter of minutes. Jeremy pried his mind for a plan, but nothing came to light. The gun begun to feel heavier and heavier in his grip, but he knew he could hold on. As long as he went undetected.

"Thorton," began Fran, "you are one sick guy. Those two beasts bandaged you up like the Middle Ages or something. Your whole body's began to blacken and spoil. If we don't get you to a real hospital you'll die!"

"Quiet, woman," said Thorton, staring into the monitor. "Obviously you've never experienced true love before. Barney came to this world to love us all, unconditionally and without expectation. People like you and your worthless brother don't understand that, in fact you're scared of it." He pressed the Barney doll against his chin. His voice suddenly grew syrupy and infantile. "My pwecious wittle buddy Barney woves me and would never hurt me."

"Ooh, God help me," said Fran, rolling her eyes and turning away in embarassment.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and the Barney soundtrack chimed in. The monitors flashed to Barney and Baby Bop, coming out of two respective tombs, dusting themselves off, and looking about in a lush green meadow with blue skies and flitting butterflies. Stacy and Mark came out and the four of them began dancing hand in hand. Fran looked down at the set but saw nothing. She then realized this was a pre-recorded segment. The song was an obvious rip-off of "Yankee Doodle" . . . .

Barney and Baby Bop, having risen from the dead, want to dance and laugh and play, and become your loving friend . . . .

The music was off-synch, miscalculated, and poorly played. Fran grimaced at the sound and became ill. Thorton swayed around in his chair, tapping his dingy fingers in tempo. Once the music was over, the lights flared up upon the soundstage, illuminating Barney and Baby Bop in all their glory. Thorton checked the frequency monitor. The signal was getting out. TV stations across the continent were picking up the broadcast, on every major network. He giggled in delight and kissed his Barney doll.

"Why, hello everyone out there! It's me, Barney the Dinosaur!"

"And me, don't forget me, Barney! I'm Baby Bop, and I just loovvveee being back on television!"

"It's been twenty years, boys and girls, but we're back! More songs and love for everyone! And I know some of you out there watching right now are in need of a special friend. Do you know what? I want to be that special friend with you!" The sagging, purple lizard slurred the last few words with a saccharine emphasis that made Fran lose control and she began throwing up. On Thorton.

"You vile wretch, you've vomited on my precious Barney doll!" screamed the bandaged lunatic, his thick glasses steaming over in rage. He immediately tried to rise and strike Fran, but his injuries kept making him stumble. He fell on the floor and kicked around in desperation.

Back on the set, Barney and Baby Bop paired together and began expressing their love for all of the viewers.

"You know, Baby Bop, I feel so much love for our new and old viewers, I feel just like-"

"Pwaying with my blanky?" cooed the spritely green dinosaur.

Barney chuckled. "No, but that sounds like a stuupppennddooussss idea too. But what I was really going to say was that I felt just like singing!"

The Loved One ensemble picked up the cue and began playing the opening chords of the most powerful, infamous, familiar song of the Purple One. The two dinosaurs began swaying and holding hands. Barney opened the piece . . . .

I love you, you love me . . . .

The next moment there was a loud resounding crash. Barney turned around and noticed Baby Bop had been struck by a huge metal strobelight, that had been dropped from above. The impact had pretty much snapped Baby Bop's neck clear in half, and the petite green dinosaur lay gurgling at his feet. Barney looked up just as another light fell his way. He caught it in mid-air and saw Jeremy dangling above him, brandishing a thick metal blade.

"Why Jeremy Phillips, what a long time! Were you the one who dropped the light upon poor Baby Bop? That wasn't very nice! Didn't your parents tell you cutting tension chords on light equipment could be dangerous? Come on down and let's sing a song about safety!"

"Bite me, you worthless purple gasbag," snarled Jeremy. "I'm cancelling your show right now!"

A horde of Loved Ones had scampered up the balcony, after Jeremy. He saw them approaching and leveled the gun at them. Bullets blazed and sparks flew as Jeremy gunned down the whole lot. Orange and pink blood spattered all over the set like rain.

"Get him!" bellowed the fat purple reptile, and several more packs of Loved Ones scampered up the rails. As Jeremy inserted a new clip and prepared to level it at the oncoming horde, the entire railing lurched under the combined weight and was completely torn out of the wall the next instant. Jeremy, the Loved Ones, and several hundred pounds of lighting and sound equipment plunged towards the soundstage below. Screams filled the air as the hapless bunch fell all five stories . . . .